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Original Posting
In reply to "lpc1998 p1/2" by mirin

lpc1998 - 01:49pm May 16, 2001 SGT (
The Mythology That It Can Only Happen To Other People?

You said:

“Re your posting, it's indeed a profound and in depth basic guidelines for a relationship and marriage to work on. But why so many names put on trial for something?
Thank you for re-affirming the basic usefulness of my posting.

I do not understand your question. No name is being put on trial. Have you seen the PS at the bottom of my posting? Nevertheless, I apologize to you and to all who feel the same way as you do. I would like to reassure all readers that putting names on trial has never been my intention.

You said:

“You said, "It is so amazing why a woman is so unprepared to find her husband to be overwhelmed by these natural forces. Maybe a woman would like to explain why. One would have thought that every girl before she marries a man would have thought through this problem and have drawn up a contingency action plan to be implemented in such an eventuality. It is like being unable to answer a question that was appeared repeatedly in an examination for thousands of years." Unfortunately, the lifelong merging of two lives into one don't go by story book expectations, rules and formula. In human repertoire, there are rejoyce, happiness, sadness, grief, fear, hate, arrogance, courage, prejudice, anger, resentment...the list goes on and on. Last but not the least, human beings are irrational at times. Getting a distinction in marriage examination(if there is one) doesn't guarantee lifelong marriage. It is the process of trial and error, experiences from past failed relationships, along the journey that people learn from mistakes, appreciate pain and pleasure and build character.”
The question I am asking is why a person, especially a woman, is so devastated when his/her spouse is found to have extra-marital affairs. Has that person learned nothing from human history and the common occurrences of such events even in his/her own times? Having an extra-marital affair by a spouse is a clearly foreseeable event. Then why a person, especially a woman, is apparently so unprepared for it in so many ways? Is it because of the mythology that extra-marital affairs can only happen to other people and not to one or one’s spouse? So there is no need for preventive measures and care and for what to do in the event of it happening, because they do not happen to oneself? Or is it just a reckless gamble in life?

Best Regards

Replies from:

  1. mirin