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Original Posting
In reply to "lpc1998 p2/2" by mirin

lpc1998 - 02:02pm May 16, 2001 SGT (59.1.2.1.1)
Things may not be what they appear to be.

You said:

“Sometimes, a spouse becomes overly concerned can be an indicator of him having some hanky panky things. A german couple with teenager children, husband gave wife a cellular phone, called her every now and then with she's out for shopping. One might think, wow, what a loving and caring husband after so many years of marriage. Wrong. He was with another young china girl, just to make sure that they didn't bump into her on the street. Many more living examples to quote. With so many temptations(young china girls), how can an old man resist? I'm not trying to be bias or generalise china girls, certainly there are exceptions, but after the cultural revolution and upbringing, they're definitely a very different kind of breed.”
You have asked a very good question. Then, why does the wife leave her old man alone with such irresistible temptations? At best, she seems to think only about her shopping with her children and nothing else. At worse, it could be a clever way of getting rid of the old, irritable, unbearable partner after the children have sufficiently grown up with good divorce terms and plenty of sympathy from friends, family and society. So we need to know more about facts and circumstances of the two cases you mentioned and the intentions of the parties involved. Otherwise, we may end up placing our sympathies in the wrong places or with the wrong people. Too many marriages are already dead after 5 years and too many couples are quarrelling like dogs and cats.

You said:

It is a sad and pathetic ending, after so many years of thin and thick with her spouse, all she has is a divorce. Of course there're many happily married couples walk till the end of lives. …....”
This may not be the necessary conclusion. A divorce may not be necessary a ‘bad’ thing for her. How do you know that the ex-wife is not quietly celebrating her good riddance success? She may be now shopping to her heart’s content and doing all the things she wants to do with no more interference from her old man.

You said:

“….. Women of this age can't put all her life into her marriage, there're things outside her marriage for her to fulfill her dreams and aspirations. Otherwise, when her children have grown up and become full fledge, she'll be left with her spouse with emptiness.”
Are you saying that ‘women of this age’ do not consider marriage as important as women in the past? They have more important dreams and aspirations outside the marriage to fulfil? Do some of these dreams and aspirations conflict with the marriage? Do they take away time, energy or attention from the marriage? Are there things of common interests they can do with their husbands?

Are you saying that once the children are not around, they feel emptiness in their lives even with the presence of their husbands?

Best Regards

Replies from:

  1. mirin (R01)
  2. mirin (R02)