In reply to "Thank you [ 1pc1998 ] for a very insightful posting " by shamy
lpc1998 - 01:32pm May 16, 2001 SGT (22.214.171.124)
The Law of Freedom of Choice.
Thank you for your generous and encouraging comments on my posting.
Yes, you are right. Mutual understanding, respect and trust are among the daily food that is needed to sustain the marriage. So are love, appreciation and care. However, the foundation of a living marriage is the mutual choice to get married and stay married. Over-emphasis on commitments and obligations breeds resentments, self-righteousness, unhappiness and complacency, which are poisonous to the marriage, and eventually kills it. So both the husband and wife must choose to stay married to each other, but neither can choose to stay unless he/she is first free to leave.
Once the continuation of the marriage is a matter of choice, it will acquire a whole new meaning. Either spouse no longer has reasons to feel frustrated or trapped, because he/she can leave the marriage any time he/she wishes. Each will choose to return home and not be compelled to return (to) ‘prison’. Even watching your spouse returning home from work or play is witnessing a miracle. Here is this man or woman who has over a billion places on the planet to go to, but instead he/she chooses to return to you and be with you despite all your faults and imperfections.
Since the uncertainty of life is highlighted, each day is lived like it could be last. And the longer the marriage lasts, the more meaningful it will be, because the spouses have re-affirmed more times the choices to stayed married to each other. In a year, each spouse would have re-affirmed 365 times to stayed married. In 30 years, more than 10,950 times. Both spouses will also know unless they take good care of the marriage it will sure to die.
It can never be over-emphasized that your choice for your marriage partner is very critical for an enduring marriage. Both you and your prospective spouse must want to get married and stay married and also the important basic requirements for a successful marriage are fulfilled. As a general principle and all other things being equal, it is always good for a lasting marriage, if you marry the person who loves you most than the person you love most. Of course, it would be the ideal, if both conditions exist simultaneously.