In reply to "The Mythology That It Can Only Happen To Other People?" - [lpc1998]
mirin - 07:48am May 17, 2001 SGT (126.96.36.199.1)
After reading your postings, how I wished my mom had taught me all these marriage and preventive measures for extra-marital affair - school of thoughts, before I get married. On the other hand, if given a chance to turn back the clock, I had grasped all these knowledge at that point of time, I'd ponder long enough to give a second thought of not marrying at all.
To what I see marriage is a subtle and yet complex gamble. If one chooses to play it safe, it is better not to play at all, i.e. stay single. Mythology extra-marital affairs can happen to any married couple, just like crossing the road looking left and right, back and front, still has the probability of ill-fate accident befall one. The merging of two lives into one must first set family values and rules. No late nights, call home everyday while one on overseas business trips, know all his/her friends and colleagues, good relationship with in-laws, get to have access to all his mails, check any strands of "foreign" hair or lingering scent of "foreign" perfume in his car.... Wake-up-call can be one's unusual behavior, question about his new necktie, new shirt. On the contrary, all these hypervigilance can cause one to have nervous breakdown. Vice-grip on all his/her activities is not healthy.
Women are born to have sensitive intuition. If there's any tell tale sign, she can sense it immediately. However, if one's crafty spouse is out to cheat on her that will be her fate. To avoid such fate a couple should build a trusting, healthy strong bond relationship.