In reply to "The Agonizing Depth of Misunderstanding" by lpc1998
mirin - 01:12pm May 15, 2001 SGT (59.1.2)
Re your posting, it's indeed a profound and in depth basic guidelines for a relationship and marriage to work on. But why so many names put on trial for something?
You said, "It is so amazing why a woman is so unprepared to find her husband to be overwhelmed by these natural forces. Maybe a woman would like to explain why. One would have thought that every girl before she marries a man would have thought through this problem and have drawn up a contingency action plan to be implemented in such an eventuality. It is like being unable to answer a question that was appeared repeatedly in an examination for thousands of years." Unfortunately, the lifelong merging of two lives into one don't go by story book expectations, rules and formula. In human repertoire, there are rejoyce, happiness, sadness, grief, fear, hate, arrogance, courage, prejudice, anger, resentment...the list goes on and on. Last but not the least, human beings are irrational at times. Getting a distinction in marriage examination(if there is one) doesn't guarantee lifelong marriage. It is the process of trial and error, experiences from past failed relationships, along the journey that people learn from mistakes, appreciate pain and pleasure and build character.
I totally agree with you that "future events depend on so many unknown factors that only time can reveal. The best of intentions is often overtaken by events over which the individuals seldom have control." I like to support that with a few living examples when I lived in Shanghai. A Malaysian couple who had been married for about eighteen years or more, with two teenager daughters, got divorced because her husband couldn't resist the temptation of a young China girl. How she found out his affair? Her husband got hepatitis from that girl. Guess this is the price he has to pay other than financial settlement with his ex-wife.
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